Ok, let me be transparent and put it out there: this is a rant post. And maybe even a little bit of a list post. And maybe full of tiny excuses. But lately, I’ve had all this post-college time to think about things I want to do, but can’t because of various limitations (money, fears, ludicrous-ness, etc.). So, I needed to get it out somewhere that I would be doing these things if I was a super-human (because, contrary to popular belief, I am just a regular person). So, here is a list of things I secretly wish I could do, and the limitation holding me back. Who knows, maybe someday this list will be complete! In no particular order:
1. Attend regular hot yoga classes (aka “Bikram”). This stems from a hot yoga class I attended
once twice, and I was immediately in love. It was amazing. I have been practicing yoga on my own for around three years now, but would love the experience of community classes. HOWEVER, here’s the kicker: the average yoga studio charges $15-18 to drop into (aka “go without membership”) a class, $3 for mat rental if you (heaven forbid) forget your own, $300 for a month’s worth of classes, and some even offer annual memberships, for $990! WHAT. How does anyone afford that, much less someone just out of college still finding my “career-legs”? I refuse to ever pay that.
2. Attend ballroom dancing classes/be a ballroom dancer. I love dancing, it’s so fun. I mean, who doesn’t, right? With the twirly dresses and sultry latin songs, ballroom dancing is a natural pull for most of us. So, here’s the kicker: I’m already 23 years old, so being a pro is basically out. Then, there are studios that offer classes. Again, OUTRAGEOUS prices. Why? Why can’t anyone charge an appropriate amount for those of us who want to be in shape via ballroom dancing? Definitely makes me sad.
3. Become a professional gymnast. Ok, my lack of gymnastic skills results from a lack of participation in my younger years. Most gymnasts start at age three. But it’s not my fault. Come on, mom, where were we during my young toddler years? (I’m just kidding – I love my mother and everything she’s done for me). So, here’s the kicker: I did try gymnastics in high school, but by that time my body was justified in being terrified of flipping around and landing on hard surfaces with barely three inches to stand on, much less jump on. I have so much admiration for gymnasts.
4. Be a singer. When I was younger, I would run around my room with a hairbrush and scream the lyrics of Backstreet Boys into it. Who didn’t, really? (If you’re thinking, “I never did that!” … you’re lying.) Well, this all comes down to talent, doesn’t it? Here’s the kicker: I CAN’T SING. I just can’t. I often say I’m in the radio choir, because the only time you’ll catch me singing out loud is when I’m in the car and the radio drowns me out.
5. Scale a building. I mean, how cool would that be?! Spidey-style, too; none of that harness and rope malarkey. But, here’s the kicker: This will never happen for me. Why? Well, for starters I’m terrified of heights. Absolutely terrified. More importantly, how many people actually scale a building? Can you imagine? High rises in NYC would be in constant danger of robbery if just anyone could scale a building.
6. Throw that really awesome (but totally unrealistic) house party in movies. We all know the scene: red cups, dancing on tables, overly-loud music but somehow at a volume at which you can still hear each other talk, and that unsightly couple making out everywhere (How DO they move so quickly while remaining in a slobbery lip-lock?). Now, please understand, I don’t like to party. Never have. I don’t even care for drinking unless we’re having a locally-brewed craft beer or glass of dry red wine. However, I think it would be cool to have actually thrown that party, and as successfully as the movies always portrayed. Here’s the kicker: THAT PARTY DOESN’T EXIST. It just doesn’t. Those parties exist solely in movies to create unhealthy doses of wishful thinking in pre-collegiate teens who think alcohol is the magic potion of life. (If you’re one of those teens and I just crushed your dream, my apologies. Its better that you know now).
Alas, I’m sure there are more glorious (and maybe not-so-glorious) things I’d like to do. Will I ever do them all? Maybe some. But definitely not all. And you know what? THAT’S OK. For now, I will continue to focus on what I can do, and that’s just as good.